*Guest Blog: Melvin's Night in Boston*

Melvin here. Our humble narrator and I have agreed that my night in Boston on Friday was one that necessitated a lengthy guest blog post. Let's waste no time and jump right in.

This weekend I drove up to Boston with friends Jojo and Skippy Peanut Butter for Jojo's 21st Birthday. Although Jojo's birthday fell on a Thursday, it was decided that Friday was the night to "go hard". It started early Friday afternoon when we rode bikes to the liquor store to pick up a sixer of Hoegarden. S.P.B insisted that we buy more, however Jojo and I had the foresight that this was going to be a long night chock full of heavy drinking.
We arrived back at Jojo's house (suburb ~20 minutes outside downtown Boston) and began to casually drink and play a little Monopoly. S.P.B, claiming to have never lost the game, bought up property as soon as he was able. Jojo, or "The Snake Oil Salesman" as we called him, tried to cheat his way to victory with sketchy maneuvers. In the end, S.P.B won with ease and we headed upstairs for a quick bowl of chicken chili to coat our insides with a protective layer before the onslaught of imbibing began.

By 9pm, we were gone. S.P.B sacked up and decided to be the DD for the night. Jojo and I were very upset until we noted that a chaperone would be needed if we all wanted to be alive by the end of the night. We entered our first bar in Harvard Square, an area of the city loaded with college kids and grad students looking to get DRUNK. The bar had a cool "Irish pub meets dive bar" atmosphere and we sat at the bar and ordered Blue Moons...then Sex Panther shots (Citrus Vodka, pineapple juice, and Tabasco recommended and on the house for our bday boy)...then Blue Moons, and we were gone. Next stop, a beer garden. Ordered a couple of Rogue Dead Guy Ales (Portland Wha Wha) and met a baller who had just hiked the entire Appalachian trail. He bought Jojo a tall boy of PBR and forced the bday boy to chug it. He did.

We left and went to a crappy bar where we ordered a shot (Red Headed Slut) and a another beer and didn't tip the shitty bartender. From here is where the night got interesting. We walked onto the Harvard campus and the following things happened:
1) S.P.B asking every single student "Where is the Dancing?"
2) Jojo, S.P.B, and I following students and sneaking into their dorms behind them.
3) Walking into student's rooms inside dorms and running away when we were seen.
4) Getting into a third floor bathroom of a dorm, finding shaving cream and spraying it all over the walls and mirrors, writing "Harvard Sucks, Columbia Rules"
5) Throwing pumpkins off of buildings.
6) Chasing possums
7) Sneaking into a dorm's dance party (S.P.B found his dancing after all), drinking massive amounts of jungle juice, and backing that thang up onto all kinds of blends.
And finally...
8) Threatening to perform Meatspin on a packed Harvard shuttle

The rest of the night proved very funny when Jojo was too drunk to lead S.P.B back to his house, dumped sour cream on a poor (sleeping) girl's head, and finally egged all the houses in his neighborhood.

Snug in bed by 5 (am).

-Melvin